We Are Not Afraid

Before we got the call, we hung a white board near our little breakfast table. I wrote "gratitude" on the top and made markers available. When anyone wants to write something great about the day, they can. It is now almost full of sentiments.

We knew before we talked to the nurse that Roland had lung cancer. We found out it is non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC) which we learned is more treatable than small cell. We don't know what stage it is or whether it has spread to other places. So there are many more tests that need to be done before we can know which path to hike. Right now we are at the trailhead checking our equipment and packing list and tightening our laces. We don't have a road map yet. Roland feels at peace and ready for whatever is next. He was calmly doing a 1000 piece puzzle in the cancer center waiting room. I feel like my shoes are just never going to be comfortable enough for the hike, but I am going to have to hike in them anyway. I am hopeful that the view will be worth it. I couldn't even sit down in the waiting room. That being said, I am confident that I will be given the strength to take on the mountain before us. I remember a good friend and avid hiker, Scott, once taught me on a particulary difficult and steep hike that every step I take is an opportunity to rest the opposite leg and that if I focus on the leg that is resting instead of the leg that is straining, I will be able to press forward to the top. I made it to the top of that mountain and I will make it to the top of this one.