Nausealand

The after and cumulative effects of his treatment plan are mounting.  Every day it is becoming more difficult to be cheerful.  He has been teaching, so he comes home exhausted. Today he taught for an hour, came home and rested for 30 minutes and then returned to teach for another hour and then took his dinner in his room. The nausea is more constant and pronounced.  The acid reflux symptoms are bothersome.  Roland is very polite, but lately he hasn't been able to control his burping.  It has become painful to swallow and he hiccoughs often.  He has some "Magic Mouthwash" to help with esophagus pain, but he is not a fan of the numbing properties.  He gets dizzy spells and doesn't really want to do anything.  This is normal.  

How am I doing? Well, I feel like I am waiting for him to return to normal and then I realize this may never happen.  I miss doing fun, active things we used to do together. I don't dwell on those thoughts.  I am a little less fun generally and shorter on patience with my children.  Life feels more serious most of the time.  I am tired emotionally which transfers to physical fatigue.  However, I am grateful for all the help we have received.  I try to do something creative for fun everyday for me and something to amuse him; Today I set blueberries into a smiley face on his cream of wheat.  I am amazed by my children and how well they are coping.  I feel loved and not alone.  I know there is a reason for this even though I don't know what it is.  I know I need to not let this stop me from improving on talents I have and strengthening weaknesses.  I really do not like giving Lovenox injections morning and night even though he thanks me after every poke, but I recently learned that it is much better than Coumadin for two reasons: He doesn't have to eliminate vitamin K foods nor have his coagulant levels tested by blood draws at the hospital every two or three days.  (On a personal note, we refer to kissing as "vitamin K", so we really don't want to eliminate that!)  

What can others do for him?  Prayers are encouraged and greatly appreciated.   He perks up for the moment when we have visitors, so if you are thinking about visiting, but you don't know if he would be up for it, he says he would like it.  Phone calls would be a welcomed distraction too.  I am on the lookout for a card table that is just hanging around in someone's storage collecting dust (not one that is needed often) to borrow to set up a puzzle for him to work on.  He likes the puzzle at the cancer center waiting room because it temporarily distracts from the nauseous feeling.

Someone whose week it is to cheer him, gave him this today:

This is one picture, but I have posted it upside down for your convenience.